They Say I'm Bonkers.

I haven't updated in a fucking long time. I gave up meat, it's been a couple of weeks so far. Not as hard as I thought it would be, as I already hate chicken. I'm shrinking, I'm under 5 feet so it's concerning. My lips are so severely chapped I have to go see the doc. I've been reading Allen Ginsberg and eating cough drops all day. I've actually been busy for once in my life, I got completely new furniture in my bedroom, it's from the 50's. My mother has this really cool friend that gets items from houses, they sell the entire contents to her and she kind of has this vintage furniture business. I got this really cool handwoven Native American rug from the 60's courtesy of her as well. My room was really grungy before, it looks very err... clean now. It's very bohemian looking now, it gives the illusion I'm very well traveled, thank god for Pier 1. I'm probably working at Dunkin' Donuts, not that exciting but I desperately need a job. I should stop cursing so much, I'm like a trucker. I still haven't gotten a haircut, I decided to go the Cory Kennedy route and just not brush it. And let it do whatever it wants to do. I'm currently loving the Phil Spector playlist Faris Badwan has put together for Vice. It's fucking good. The mix that they made for Vice is really good too.

I'm suprised they know any Bollywood music, the second

to last song on it is a very famous song from an Amitabh Bachan film. I grew up with that song, if my dad listened to that I think he would become an instant fan. The yoga song is hilarious, I don't know if you'd get it without knowing Hindi, but it's pretty funny. It took me some time to figure out what it was about. My mom actually had to tell me. Even though DOWN and UP were good, this one was beast. I've rediscovered my loved for Bollywood music, my favorite has always been from the 60's. My father actually used to dress like a mod, in winklepickers and drainpipes. My grandfather did as well, complete with wayfarer glasses. He told me there's a store in Calcutta that custom makes winklepickers for you in an hour, but the only bad thing about that is my dad has to come to India with us next year, since he's the only one who knows where it is. I've been reading several interesting books lately.

Not much more going on in my life. We might go on vacation somewhere, my friend is touring Europe so I told her to pick up the NME from London for me. I saw it over there last time I went but I had no cash on me to buy it. I'm going to take my leave now, I made a Tumblr but it's rather confusing. Ta-ta.

Where Did You Sleep Last Night?

I've been having a confusing day. School finally ended for me, and I told everybody I would go to school for the last day but I slept in (on purpose). I feel like a complete asshole to say the least. But I didn't miss much. Nothing really happened for me today, and I don't know what to do with myself. I've recently gotten into Panic At The Disco and Taking Back Sunday again. Only Panic's first album though, A Fever You Can't Sweat Out. I used to be a complete PATD fan girl. It was sad. I actually started to cry when I heard Pretty. Odd. It was so bad, not the cabaret pop-punk I fell in love with. It sounds like a bad Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club cover album. They ripped off the Beatles so bad. It was a proper shit album. No wonder they're has-beens now. I don't blame it. I feel like it's Fall Out Boy 2.0. But at least they still have "fans". I've also been listening to The Pretty Things. They're amazing, proper psychedelic. New Jersey's been boring the hell out of me. I need to go out of this country.

I can't spend too much time without traveling. It literally makes me go mad. I'm thinking of going to India with my uncle and aunt in the end of July. That's how desperate I am. Although they're going to Calcutta, and I like Delhi better. Calcutta has lost it's excitement for me. Delhi is so full of exciting crazy people. Bengali's are so boring, they just care about social status and how educated they are. Sure Delhi folks might be self-absorbed, only focused on drinking and the latest Bollywood movies, but I feel at one with them. Plus it'll help me work on my Hindi. Which is terrible mixed with my "joisey" accent. I miss my family terribly, especially my little cousins. I even miss those crazy monsoons. I don't know, I have no job, they didn't even take me for fucking volunteering. The local amusement park (yes I live in the town that's home to the tallest roller coaster in the world) isn't hiring anymore, which sucks. I really should start eating healthy. All I eat is candy and ice cream. Either that or I forget to eat most the time.

My only hope is McDonald's, but this really annoying kid work's there as well, and he seems to hate me now for no reason. I'm so sad The Real Housewives of New Jersey is over. I watched the pt. 1 of the reunion though, that guy who was hosting it is an idiot. I hate how he looks so delighted when they start fighting or breaking down. The bastard can at least pretend to look a little sympathetic. My favorite housewife is Teresa. She's hilarious, with her "bubbies" haha. My mom seems to like Caroline the best, who reminds me of her a little bit. Danielle looks exactly like my neighbor, who's about 55 and prances around outside in a hot pink bikini every opportunity she gets. Dina is my least favorite, she seems absolutely fake and arrogant. People like that disgust me, her daughter is annoying as well.

I've decided to go vegetarian. This is my fourth attempt, but I'm pretty sure it'll work this time. That's the plus side to my OCD. I managed to stop compulsively biting my nails this year, so

this should be a breeze compared to that. I hope this summer turns out to be good for me. My pool should be swimmable by next week, I've been scrubbing it non-stop for the past couple of days. I wish I was able to go see a therapist though, I'm too broke for one. My OCD has been getting extremely bad, and it's interfering with my life. I'm also pretty sure I'm bi-polar. Not just because I'm a little moody, I literally have no control over my emotions most of the time. Ugh, I missed It's On With Alexa Chung today. I love her, I don't know why all those Brits call her a mega-bitch and really mean. Whatever, no more complaining. I'll take my leave now, have a great week kids.

For Every Kiss You Give Me I'll Give You Three.

Aiight. Had a pretty shitty week to be honest. Yesterday was hell, and the day before was okay but kind of uneventful. I'm listening to some dub mix of A Milli by Lil Wayne. I didn't go to school today, been feeling pretty sick. Don't know what it is, my stomach hurts so I can't really eat anything, and I can't hear anything. I'm listening to Marilyn Manson right now. I've been sort of a vegetable for the last couple of days, I can't do anything. Some strange movie was on today, then I watched Little Miss Sunshine. I love that movie so much, I can imagine my family doing that. The grandpa is my idol, he's so funny. It's sad when he dies. I'm thinking of getting a haircut since my hair grows like grass. I get it cut and then it just goes back to long in a week.

I might go really dramatic and really short, but I have a very androgynous face so I don't want to look like a little boy. Listening to 60's girl groups right now, I love it. Bleh, this Monster is making me feel sick. My last day of school is next Wednesday, thank god it's finally ending. My grades are going to be shit though I know it. Oh well. Grrr, I have to stop switching topics so much. My stomach burns right now, it's very painful. I hope the doctor can fix my boo-boos (ick, that sounds rather creepy). I might get an Alexa Chung haircut, it looks really low maintenance and pretty. The weather is finally nice outside today, for the last two weeks it felt like it turned into London, all grey and rainy. On Monday there was a foot of hail in North Jersey, it's kind of fucked up. It hailed here a little bit yesterday.

There's a '06 era Horrors sounding band on this Garage Punk podcast. It's Sonic Nightmares #28. They have an organ and everything o_o. I have nothing else to say, along with being sick my mind's turned into mush. Ta-ta for now folks. I'll leave you to enjoy the fabulously synchronized Ronettes.

Handsome & Gretel.

Hey all. I haven't written lately. I honestly haven't really been in the mood. My allergies are killing me, the meds make me ridiculously tired but if I don't take them I can barely see since my eyes get so red. I'm in a writing mood today however. School is almost over, which makes me ridiculously happy. There's a slight problem though, I'm failing all of my classes. You see my school is strange, so I get have only 4 classes every semester. I have to get my grades up in a couple of days, it's so stressful. My earlobes are now gauged but they're all nasty and stretched out since I can't keep the tapers in. I did it for the hell of it really, I got really bored last week. The Horum is making me annoyed lately, it seems like all the "cool" people left and now there are all these obnoxious Australian fangirls. Not that I have a problem with fangirls (ahem my Faris Badwan obsession), but they're just... annoying to me. They don't seem to talk about anything productive either. It's just one of those weird things that bother me I guess.

I'm thinking I might actually be manic depressive. I have a friend that's bipolar and she was telling me from experience she really thinks I am. My moods get in the way of everything, I literally never know how I'm going to be. Normally I'm very quiet and anti-social, but I have my "moments". Whatever, none of this shit is relevant to anything. I'm scared I'm never going to get a significant other. It's quite depressing. I'm listening to Black Flag right now. Adult. have been my obsession lately, they're so good. Very dancey and fun. But not in an annoying, overly peppy way. I just realized how much of a cynic I sound like. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it. I want to go see some shows this summer, I have to stay in shit Jersey so I might go to Warped Tour. Might as well make the best out of it. My throat stings badly right now, we've been having very dramatic weather changes lately. One day it's freezing cold, then it rains and the next day it's extremely hot. That might be what's making me so depressed lately. My paranoia has increased as well, not a good week for me. I will end this with the amazing serenading powers of Aphex Twin. And Chris Cunningham's brilliant creepiness.

What Costumes Shall The Poor Girl Wear?

Bonjour. I decided I'm not really going to talk about art and music that much. I'm more interested in what goes on in people's minds personally, so I'm going to do just that. People fascinate me very much, what can I say? I was also pondering on some subjects. Why do I write? I have no clue. Why do I jump from one subject to another faster then an acrobat on speed? No clue. I'm always thinking of a thousand things at once. I get all these fabulous ideas in my head and when I sit down to write they all go down the drain and I talk about stupid things that don't really pertain to anything. Plus I have to stop using "I". It get too annoying for me to even read. My writing ability is shrinking. I feel so confident with my writing, and then I read other writing and I feel like a 5 year old who can't string a couple of words together and make some goddamn sense. It's quite disheartening. Anyway, enough of that. Complaining won't make it any better.

Yesterday I went to this really snobby party. My aunt's family is super-rich, and they were having this bridal shower for my sort of cousin. I hate these parties. Not because of the rich snobs, because I get along rather well with them, but because I always feel like a fake. Right then "All Tomorrow's Parties" by The Velvet Underground popped in my head. I felt just like that. If those people saw what I look like from a day-to-day basis they'd be shocked. They think I'm so well put together and classy, when in actuality I look like a color-blind hobo on acid most of the day. Seriously, I could give Devendra Banhart a run for his money. I'm not making much sense, since it's pretty hard to put into words. God, rich people confuse me. I just wish they would look past the fact I dress crazy and see I'm an intelligent human being. Arranged marriages have been on my mind quite a bit lately too, but I'm not going to get into that. I have such a terrible memory, I've been thinking of pulling an Andy and getting a tape recorder.

It's like being a new person everyday almost. I try to write things down, but I'm not always in the writing "mood" so it didn't turn out that well. I can't find one though, that's the problem. I've been enjoying Mijn Schatje's work lately. My head is throbbing and I think I'm getting a migraine. My mind got all fucked up the minute I sat down to write. Whatever, I'm sure I'll have more intelligent things to say later. I'll leave you to enjoy the early Strokes.

I Had Too Much To Dream (Last Night)

Hi kids. I hardly ever update. It's kind of sad. I haven't given any backround information on myself so far. I set myself this goal that I would stay completely anonymous but it didn't work out. I'm Piya. I live in New Jersey. In the US of A. I'm really short, and I look like a little kid. I'm second generation Indian. I try not to be intimidating, but my normal facial expression kind of screams "Get the fuck away from me, I hate you all". I love art, and writing. I'm pretentious when it comes to my music taste. I hate boring people, I like mysterious people. I hate most people though. I'm painfully shy. I can't help it. Hmm, there's not much else you need to know. I give everybody ridiculous nicknames. So far I'm Frosh/Froshbert. It's all good. Oh, and I have a stupid obsession with The Mighty Boosh. It's not healthy.

Okay, so today I feel really weird. My anxiety is really up there (blame the coffee). I feel really dizzy too, I don't know whether or not I want to throw up or pass out. I really don't think I should go to school tomorrow. Even though I hate missing school. I've been obsessed with The Horrors so bad lately. I feel bad for Brittany, I have to put her through all that. My Strokes obsession was worse though. My friend was telling me about this MCR fanfiction she was reading so I decided to venture off into the unknown world of Horrors slash. Let's just say I don't plan to go there again. Some of them were really sweet and cute, blah, blah, blah. But some of them have me emotionally scarred. And I'm generally very hard to faze. Icky is all I have to say. Hmm, I think part of my anxiety is coming from the fact I'm worried about my grades. I didn't give a shit this marking period. Plus I have this insane teacher who doesn't grade anything and gives the kids whatever he wants to give them. We all got generic B+'s last marking period, but you never know with him.

I hate school. It's not that I'm unintelligent, I guess I'm just somewhat of a slacker. Whatever, I'm in a caffienated nervous haze and I have no clue what I'm saying. I just feel like I need to get some shit off my chest. I feel really obese and ugly. I've been listening to New Young Pony Club trying to get happy. I'll take a nap soon, maybe that's what I need. I wish I was more attractive. I see chicks a hundred times uglier and larger then me (sounds harsh but it's true), and they have a parade of guys chasing them. It makes me frustrated. I'm generally the "I don't care about anything" type, but it's depressing.

Hmm, it's weird. I had this strange dream about Edie Sedgwick. I have this horrible obsession with her, like she's one of my idols in life, so it wasn't that outlandish. But I was next to her and she was really

stoned, and then I stuffed her in a closet and started reading from a children's book. I don't know what metaphorical message that holds. Then I went into some strange curtained room with aisles like a grocery store with my whole family around me trying to kill me. Edie came back to life in my dream (and she was taller then I expected), then I had to hide her so the creepy Russian guards wouldn't kill her. I hid her in the closet, and she was so wasted she passed out and I forgot her in the closet. A TV was in the room playing the Twilight Zone whilst this was happening. That's all I remember from the dream. It scared the shit out of me when I woke up. I really need to sleep more. I think I got sick since I jumped in my friends pool with clothing on a couple of days ago and stayed wet (shut up) and then jumped in again like an idiot. I kind of miss the common sense part in my brain. Anyway, I shall take my leave now. I changed my Twitter, you can stalk me at www.twitter.com/porkchoppers.

Paris Is Burning

Hello all, finally updating. Wow, I can fairly say I feel like shit today. Insomnia has reared it's ugly head towards me again and I spent 4 hours last night watching infomercials. You'd be suprised as to how many body shapers there are out there, you'll never have to diet again! Wow, I hate Easter honestly, I don't even know it's purpose. Like at least with Christmas I know what's up and why people celebrate it, but all I know about Easter is the eggs and the bunnies and what not.

I've been feeling even stranger lately then usual, first of all, I literally feel obese. Secondly, migranes, not so fun. Thirdly, i've developed a weird obsession with classical music. Again. It's not healthy, all i've been listening to is Beethoven. Oh, and jazz, but jazz is legit so it's alright. I've also felt quite a bit of self-realization regarding my style. Like, I spent the last year following all the idiotic trends but i've finally broke out my neon leggings and peace sign necklace again. I really don't care anymore, i've discovered the joy of flats as well. Oh, and I actually downloaded the leaked Horrors album, it's ridiculously good.

"Who Can Say" is great in all it's sappy goodness, topped off with the tambourine soaked love line. "New Ice Age" and "Scarlet Fields" are my favorites though, they're the epitome of good music. To me of course. "I Can't Control Myself" is another favorite as well, it sounds gorgeous. I've been listening to Bat For Lashes alot too. Natasha Khan has a really beautiful haunting voice, makes you actually feel something. I've also downloaded about a hundred Ladyhawke songs, she's really damn catchy. Well, my eyes feel like they're about to pop out of my sockets, so I will leave this at that. By the way, follow (stalk) me on twitter, www.twitter.com/onamatepiya.