What Costumes Shall The Poor Girl Wear?

Bonjour. I decided I'm not really going to talk about art and music that much. I'm more interested in what goes on in people's minds personally, so I'm going to do just that. People fascinate me very much, what can I say? I was also pondering on some subjects. Why do I write? I have no clue. Why do I jump from one subject to another faster then an acrobat on speed? No clue. I'm always thinking of a thousand things at once. I get all these fabulous ideas in my head and when I sit down to write they all go down the drain and I talk about stupid things that don't really pertain to anything. Plus I have to stop using "I". It get too annoying for me to even read. My writing ability is shrinking. I feel so confident with my writing, and then I read other writing and I feel like a 5 year old who can't string a couple of words together and make some goddamn sense. It's quite disheartening. Anyway, enough of that. Complaining won't make it any better.

Yesterday I went to this really snobby party. My aunt's family is super-rich, and they were having this bridal shower for my sort of cousin. I hate these parties. Not because of the rich snobs, because I get along rather well with them, but because I always feel like a fake. Right then "All Tomorrow's Parties" by The Velvet Underground popped in my head. I felt just like that. If those people saw what I look like from a day-to-day basis they'd be shocked. They think I'm so well put together and classy, when in actuality I look like a color-blind hobo on acid most of the day. Seriously, I could give Devendra Banhart a run for his money. I'm not making much sense, since it's pretty hard to put into words. God, rich people confuse me. I just wish they would look past the fact I dress crazy and see I'm an intelligent human being. Arranged marriages have been on my mind quite a bit lately too, but I'm not going to get into that. I have such a terrible memory, I've been thinking of pulling an Andy and getting a tape recorder.

It's like being a new person everyday almost. I try to write things down, but I'm not always in the writing "mood" so it didn't turn out that well. I can't find one though, that's the problem. I've been enjoying Mijn Schatje's work lately. My head is throbbing and I think I'm getting a migraine. My mind got all fucked up the minute I sat down to write. Whatever, I'm sure I'll have more intelligent things to say later. I'll leave you to enjoy the early Strokes.